


Learn to Love Again

by iamrotting



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: Divorce, F/F, also if yall wanna die, this is the first chapter you should die to
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-01-03 22:06:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12155748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamrotting/pseuds/iamrotting
Summary: It'd been a few months being alone without her family-without Elsa. While Elsa had let her go, Anna couldn't. She wanted her love of her life back. But what would it take? What did she have to risk? (elsanna) RATED: M/ un-beta'd





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: y~yeah i cant control myself. hopefully there'll be more chapters :D and hopefully, you'll enjoy (and not be confused) by the first chapter!

"Momma, are we there yet, are we there yet?" Olaf urged, gently kicking against the back of his mother's driver's seat. The redhead let out a little smile, her hand coming up to fix the rear-view mirror. Through the reflection, Olaf's brightening grin was shown. She had never seen her son so happy - especially when things weren't exactly the way it used to be. Times were difficult.

This was refreshing.

"We'll be there in a minute, honey. How was school today?" She continued driving them slowly through the empty street. The neighborhood had always been quite bare but she didn't think it'd be this empty. Unlike the more crowded areas in the city, quietness was great here.

"Um…" Olaf jumped back up from his seat, his eyebrows scrunched in contemplation. "Oh! We learned about Christopher Columbus! Did you know he was the first person to discover America?"

Anna almost laughed. "No, I did not. That's incredible, Olaf. You learned quite a lot." Wait until you get to high school, kid.

"Yeah! And we made little drawings of him, but I can't show you now because we haven't finished. Ms. Johnson also allowed us to nap more..."

While she drove around the corner of the street, Olaf continued to talk about his day in his first-grade class. Not that Anna didn't want to hear it… but she had been dreading to meet… with a special someone, that she could barely concentrate. Her grip tightened on the steering wheel, her eyes making a quick glance at the ring on her finger, the little diamond shining through the sunny day.

It'd been a couple months since… that happened. But even after a couple of months, Anna still felt as if she had lost something she wasn't supposed to. Oh well. Was there even anything she could do? To voice herself just so there was a solution?

No… what had happened, happened - and there was just no solution.

"Momma, momma, she's here!"

Anna blinked, looking up front to her right to see a blonde leaning against her opened doorway, her arms crossed together. Elsa. The smile Anna noticed on Elsa's face was so wonderful and soft, and Anna could never get that out of her sight. She had thought the blonde would stay in the house but…

Well, the house looked exactly how it was when they still lived together.

Taking a deep courageous breath, Anna stepped on the brake and unlocked the doors. "Alright, sweetie." Olaf was already running to her mother's arms with his overly large backpack hanging around his shoulders.

"Mom!" He opened his arms to Elsa.

"Oh, how's my beautiful boy? How was school?" She laughed, getting down to her knees for a hug and kisses.

Anna couldn't help but just stare and smile at the wonderful sight once she got out too.

Olaf giggled, his feet bouncing up and down. "Mom, I learned a lot of things today! Ms. Johnson taught us history!"

Elsa raised her eyebrows in pretend surprise. "Oh? Well, I'm glad you enjoyed school today. Talked to any friends?"

"Mhm." He nodded. "Her name's Katherine, but kids call her Kat cuz she like cats."

She tilted her head, an eyebrow raised in curiosity. "Not… a girlfriend right?"

Slam. The two turned their attention to Anna, her eyes glowing with happiness as she neared them. "Kat's a friend, isn't she?" She ruffled Olaf's black hair.

"Y-Yeah!" the kid exclaimed. "Remember? You said no girlfriends until… I'm an old man?"

"No girlfriend until you're older, indeed."

"Oh, yeah, that."

Elsa sighed. "I'm glad you had fun, baby. Alright, now go on, there are snacks waiting for you in the kitchen."

He stuck his tongue out in pretend disgust. "Mom, not raisins again."

"No raisins. Carrots and pretzels."

Immediately, Olaf quickly ran inside to the house, kicking his shoes off. Carrots had always been his favorite snacks, so both Anna and Elsa never had to worry about nutrition.

The two watched the little man sing himself a little song as he grabbed himself a couple of baby carrots and a few pretzels before bringing himself to the couch for his evening cartoons. For a first grader, Olaf was quite an active one. Always wanting to go to school, always the first to wake up without her mother calling for him. Anna hoped it'd stay this way. Oh, and she could just watch him all day if that was possible.

She heard a sigh coming from Elsa as she pushed herself up to stand.

"He seems to be having a good day." Elsa grinned with all the love she had, her arms around her middle.

Anna scratched the back of her neck, chuckling nervously. "Well, when is he ever not having a good day?"

"Good point." Elsa shuffled her foot on the ground. "How… was your day?"

"Busy. I've been uh… hassled by my boss for quite a bit today. You?"

"Quiet."

The silence between them was just… overbearing. Anna still had a lot of questions to ask her… still had this confusion and anger grasping around her heart… just… pinning her like needles. But she knew not to talk… she knew not to hurt them even more than they should. But when had Anna never listened to herself?

Elsa's eyes were on her fingers. "You're still wearing the ring."

Anna immediately hid her hands on her back. "Um… it's… I couldn't get rid of it. I-I'll take it off if you want me-"

"No, it's fine. Leave it."

"Oh… okay." She took a deep breath, her eyes on the ground. This, normally, wasn't so awkward. "So… how's Hans?"

"Oh, well…" Elsa looked up to the sky. "We're doing pretty good. He's traveling right now, but he'll come back next week. He said he wanted to move in but…"

Anna crossed her brows. "But?"

She placed her arms around her body, blue eyes looking away. Oh, she'd do that whenever she felt insecure. But Anna wasn't going to push her to say anything that Elsa didn't want to.

"It's… it's fine if you don't want to talk about it."

"Anna-"

"No… I get it." She pursed her lips together. "If he wants to move in… that's fine with me. Although, it has nothing to do with me anyway."

"Anna, it has everything to do with you." Oh, she said that… but what they had become… had always been 'everything Elsa wanted'. But Anna wasn't going to be selfish to bring her down. Yes… she was jealous. She was angry. But Elsa's relationship… was not her choice or problem.

The silence that ensued them was just as overbearing as their very own marriage and the very ring that wrapped around Anna's finger. And she wondered still, why was she wearing it? Elsa wasn't. Am I stupid?

But Anna couldn't help but stare at her slender pale hands… the fingers that once loved her. The hands that once held hers. She bit her lip. "No, it's… it's fine. He's a good man, Elsa."

"He can be." There it was again-this stupid, stupid silence. But what was Anna ever going to say anyway? There weren't much to be said, and Anna knew how much it'd hurt to say the words that she wanted to say. "I guess… I should get back in. You'll come back tomorrow to get him for school?"

Anna nodded. "Yeah, he's my kid as well, Elsa."

She let out a heavy sigh. "That's not what I meant, Anna-"

"I… I know."

"Then tell me-"

"What happened to us?" There it was. The words that Anna had kept in this whole time. The words that kept her from sleeping every night-keeping her distracted from work every day. "We were…" She scoffed in disbelief. Suddenly her eyes blurred with tears that weren't supposed to come out.

"Don't do this now-"

Anna grimaced at the cold reaction. "Elsa, we were going to… rock the world. You know, I…" She hugged herself tightly. "It's been… hard. Getting over the fact that you just don't-"

"Anna, my feelings for you… or the lack thereof, I can't help it."

Hurt me more. She nodded. She just had to accept this. "We were fine, Elsa."

"We were… but I… I lost it. This feeling you and I had, I lost it."

"Where did I go wrong?"

"It's not you. It's just me."

How could she ever accept this? They were madly in love, they took care of each other-they had a baby named Olaf… and suddenly, Elsa had lost this love she had with Anna? Never once had Anna suspected this-never once had they argued and not made up. She had heard those words plenty, plenty of times… but Anna still didn't understand.

Bitter tears rolled down her cheeks like a waterfall, and Anna didn't even know she was crying. The anger that filled her was too overwhelming to let sadness draw into her.

She felt her warm arms taking her into a hug, fingers running through her copper hair. Ah, when was the last time Anna had been hugged like this? She buried herself into this familiar scent from the crook of her neck, drowning herself in the memories they accumulated.

Her hands came up around Elsa's back, and she shut her eyes. "I don't know why this happened… I just… I just want to love you."

Elsa didn't say anything when Anna wanted her to just say those three words back to her. But this was never going to happen. With her sighs shaky as she tried to hold herself back from crying, Anna managed to compose herself. This wasn't the first time she had cried in front of Elsa-nor would it ever be the last.

Elsa was her best friend. Her lover. Her wife. Was. She knew Elsa would be there for her.

Pulling away, Anna found herself being drawn into the blueness of her eyes. The glow they had when she smiled, and Elsa… had such a pitying grin on her face. "Please… beautiful." Fingers brushed away the tears on her cheeks. Elsa hadn't called her beautiful in so long. "Don't cry."

"How can I not?" She grasped onto her wrist. "Elsa, just… I miss you."

The woman said nothing as she leaned in, only pausing for a bit to look into each other's eyes. Ah, the familiarity of feeling the love when they were so close to each other together. The feeling of want.

Anna could feel it again, and her heartbeat was faster than ever. This was love that Anna had always wanted.

Before she knew it, she found tender lips breathing against the skin of her own, minty breath tickling her cheek, and she closed her eyes. Her spine felt chills, her body warming up through the summer evening, and she could almost taste it on her lips. And how could she ever forget about Elsa's taste? Her soft pulped lips… her sweet, sweet scent that always prompted Anna to fall in love with. Anna sighed at the hands that held her cheeks, her own running up Elsa's thin wrists. She's grown skinnier…

But just as she wanted this to never end, it ended. Elsa pulled away, her expression stoic and stern, looking at her ever so closely.

This was the woman she fell in love with. This was the woman who loved her. Oh… what went wrong?

"I love you," Anna mouthed.

She nodded, her lips on her cheek just briefly. "I know. And I do too, Anna."

That wasn't what she wanted to hear, nor did she want to hear this anymore. "I… I should go. Kristoff is still waiting for my call." Anna stepped back away from her touch.

"What about dinner? Would you like to-"

"N-No. I can't." Anna took a deep breath. "I'll see Olaf tomorrow."

"Of course."

While she walked back to her car, Elsa was watching her leave-her posture still looking as it was before. Insecure. Confused. And Anna could see it all.

Getting into her car, Anna sat back and took one last look of Elsa. She was waving. Anna waved back. The ring appeared before her once again, but it was nothing but a burden to look at.

When Elsa's front door finally shut, she began to drive ever so slowly. The kiss… the hug… Anna wanted more of that. No, she wanted more of Elsa to love her back-to bring back the woman that was once hers.

She bit her lip, her hand coming up to wipe away abandoned tears. This wasn't right… never was right. And all Anna wanted to do was to get Elsa back.

All she wanted was for them to love and cherish each other until death would do them part.


	2. Chapter 2

"... And so I told her, 'I made it so that Sven could get through the day without getting upset' and she looked at me like I was crazy cuz she thought the toy was a fucking dildo- hey, you alright?"

Anna felt a hand on her shoulder, but she didn't remove her gaze from the alcoholic beverage, and neither did she stop the circular movement of her fingers on the rim. She was paying attention, first of all. She was just too tired to respond, that's all.

She sighed. But her best friend was talking, so she might as well just spill out the beans. "Ariel. Is she your girlfriend or something?"

Kristoff laughed, heartily. "What's the matter with you, saying strange things like that?"

"Ah… that is strange, isn't it? She wouldn't like you…"

He flinched in pretend hurt. "Ouch. Since when have you become such a bitch?"

Anna sighed, propping her cheek against her fist. "Yeahhh… when have I become someone I'm not?"

Kristoff didn't respond to that any further. She knew how her best friend was looking at her. Kristoff may be a huge idiot sometimes, but some idiots could be too caring for their own good. "Are you still…" He didn't say anything further.

Though, even Anna knew what he was going to ask. So many had asked her that question already and yes… the answer was always no. She figured she could also be quite an idiot sometimes, but nobody was stopping her.

Not anymore.

She stared at the ring that embraced her ring finger tightly. It was about time to take it off, but the ring always gave her a sense of nostalgia. Ah, nostalgia  _and_  hurt. She could easily just take it off and forget all the things that made her so miserable but… perhaps, this was what she really deserved. Misery.

She sighed again for the third time. It was almost as if she was just wishing for the sighs to make her grow older so she could die in a ditch. "You'd think I'd be over it by now…" She rubbed her fingers on the ring. "I'm not, and I'm just being plain dumb. Am I dumb, Krist?"

He looked at her with pity. "Anna, it's been months since then. Have you talked to her, at least?"

She chuckled. "Talking won't fix our situation. Like I've always said… she lost the love she had for me." A bitter smile formed when she turned to look at the man. "It's really that simple."

"Do you really believe that?"

"Would she ever lie to me?"

"I don't know, Anna… but if you keep thinking these things, you won't be able to move on as easily."

_Maybe I don't want to. I just want my life back._

She took a sip of her drink, the cube of ice clinking on the glass when she placed it down. Maybe Kristoff could be the voice of reason right now.

Anna had been taken one too many drinks (in reality, just a few sips could make her tipsy) and all she could do was just listen and not be a douche about it. Yes, her heart was bitter, her mind was in a clutter… but she had ears that could take in every word with good intentions. And she would always do things with good intentions.

Elsa taught her that, and naturally, she was born with it.

"I can't. I have Olaf, remember?"

"In her custody."

"Yeah, but he's better off with her. I'm not responsible enough. And like I said… I love my son too much to forget about  _her._ " She paused. "I mean, who could ever forget about her…?"

"Geez, I've never seen you this lovesick."

Groaning, Anna gently banged her forehead against the wooden counter. "Yeah, it's nauseating…"

"But anyway." He placed a hand on her back. "Drink like there's no tomorrow and forget about your lovesickness. I can grab a cab for us."

She waved him off, mumbling under her breath with incomprehensible words. Oh, Anna was already drunk enough. "Let me just… dig a grave and die there with her still in my mind."

"Nah, you got work tomorrow with the Weasel. Dying is a no go."

She clenched her chest, turning her head against the table to stare at him. Of course, visions were already getting blurry. "Dying is better than to feel this heartbreak in my heart, right?"

"Okay. Nope. You are drunk already." He scratched his head. "Guess you can take only baby beers, huh?"

"You're stupid."

He slowly got up and grabbed her shoulders to lift her up. "Nice, we can do more playground insults tomorrow."

"Yeah, fuck you."

* * *

"... Momma… is sleeping?"

"Yes, darling. Don't bother her alright? Did you finish your homework?"

"No… I really can't see her?"

"Later, honey. School starts tomorrow so why don't you go get your homework started. I will bring you snacks later alright?"

"Okay!"

 _Shut… up…_ Anna groaned as she rolled over to her side in bed, her arm raised above her head. She moaned again with the sun blasting against her poor eyes.  _Lemme guess… two drinks and a few… and I'm getting hangovers… what a surprise._  It really wasn't a surprise, and neither did she want to open her eyes to torture herself any longer.

She pulled the blanket over her head with yet another weird, tortured noise.

"Anna…" She felt someone shake her.

"Mmm…"

"Anna, get up, please."

"Shut uppppp…"

Silence. Ah, exactly what she needed.  _Now a few more snoozes..._

" _Honey, wake up_." A hand… a very cold hand went under the blanket… under her shirt, and pressed flat on her tummy. Anna immediately burst out into laughter, her body jerking away as soon as the hand pulled away as well. Oh, only one person knew she was ticklish at that one spot. And before Anna knew it, she turned to see Elsa grinning at her with beautiful pink cheeks. "Good afternoon."

Anna blinked, looking around before answering. She was… back home. In their - in  _Elsa's_  bedroom. Ah… no wonder why she didn't want to get out of bed. Not with Elsa's scent lingering anyway. Anna's heart sunk just slightly. "Uh… afternoon?"

"You slept all morning."

"I slept all morning…" she repeated to herself, still completely dazed. "I slept all morning?!" Anna violently ripped the blanket off her, sitting up… only to experience a wave of headaches plowing through. But that wasn't important now. "Weselton's going to kill me!"

"Anna, calm down, you're not going to work today."

One blink. Two blinks. Anna glared at her in confusion. Her head was throbbing even more suddenly. "I'm not?"

The blonde raised an eyebrow.

"Right, I'm not. And why am I not?"

Elsa sighed. "You know you can't drink, yet you drank until you were throwing up without even knowing. Kristoff brought you home."

 _Damn bastard._ Anna grumbled to herself, looking down to see her clothes had been changed. "You… changed me."

"Like I said, you were throwing up."

She grimaced. "I… don't want to imagine what happened."

Elsa chuckled. "Well, get up. I made lunch, and you need to take your pills."

Right. Anna watched the woman get out of her room silently. They were… acting so normal. Like nothing ever happened. Like Elsa was still her wife that loved her.

The redhead sighed, putting her head in her hand. Kristoff… was just a bit too nosy. But Anna couldn't complain. She got to see Elsa.

With that thought in mind, Anna got out and walked down the stairs to the dining room after having to take ten minutes to clean herself up. Olaf was with his crayons, humming a little song to himself with a bowl of pretzels and juice beside him.

Anna hadn't… been home for quite a long time now, but nothing seemed to change. Elsa was in the kitchen, Olaf was doing homework on the table, a cartoon was playing in the background, and the clock was ticking.  _Yeah… everything's normal._

She knew she could come home whenever she wanted to see Olaf, but she knew, Elsa was only saying it. Mostly, she was just afraid of being home.

She smiled at the sight of Elsa grabbing two plates of sandwiches to the table. Their eyes met. "Come down, will you? I made you your favorite."

Olaf perked his head up and immediately turned, his smile also widening. "Momma!"

Oh, how could Anna get so negative with him around? "Hey, buddy!" She quickly got down to pick him up in her arms. "How are you doing, little man?" She walked to the table.

"Good! I'm doing homework!"

"I can see that."

Olaf pressed his face into her neck. "Momma, I missed you."  _Oh._ Olaf would never say that. He was always so optimistic, waiting for his momma to come pick him up from school. Anna glanced over to Elsa, who only smiled gently.

"Yeah, I missed you too, buddy. But I'll see you tomorrow, won't I?"

"Mhm."

"Alright, now why don't you get back to work. And finish your snacks too." She put him down, but not before kissing his forehead. Olaf could always take away any pain Anna was feeling.

Sighing, she took a seat across from Olaf and her mother. A plate of sandwich and a glass of water was sitting before her. Ah, she missed Elsa's cooking, it always looked so appetizing.

Anna's stomach growled, prompting her face to glow red and Elsa to giggle. "S-Sorry…"

"No, don't be." The blonde sighed, turning to Olaf who offered her a pretzel. Smiling, she took it, popping it in her mouth. "You must be hungry to have your stomach growl like that. I doubt you ate anything yesterday too."

Anna scratched her head. Oh, she couldn't wait any longer and began to take a bite of her sandwich. Gods… it was almost like she was tasting her mother's food, but… "A-Actually, I didn't eat, yeah. So this is…" She gulped. "This is really,  _really_  good."

Elsa chuckled again. "I'm happy you're liking it." A pause. For the moment, Anna didn't care for the silence and continued to satisfy her poor stomach. Elsa stared down to her plate. "Anna… may I ask you, why you were drinking like that?"

Oh. The redhead froze, putting her sandwich down. "Uh… just, you know, having fun, that's all." She didn't dare see how Elsa was looking at her. Elsa had always had sharp instincts… she could always tell what Anna was thinking. But this time, Anna wasn't allowing it. Elsa was always looking at the right way… always finding out what was wrong. But clearly, she -  _they_ had been too blind to see what was wrong in front of them right now.

Anna started picking on the edges of the bread. She only had eyes for the ring. "I, uh… Kristoff and I were just-"

"Kristoff and you were drinking because of me."

She finally eyed her. "No, I-"

Elsa's stoic expression had left her frozen. Where was that gentleness that she had before? "We've changed, Anna."

 _We?_ Looking down, Anna shook her head. "We didn't. You did."

They just… continued to avoid each other. Elsa placed her hands together, her fingers rubbing on the others. She sighed. "Olaf, go to your room, okay?"

The boy picked his head up. "What?"

"Room, please."

He frowned, turning to Anna. "B-But… Mama…"

The redhead grinned. "Listen to your mother, alright? I'll check up on you in a minute. And show me what you were drawing later, okay?"

Just slightly convinced, Olaf mirrored her… well, undoubtedly fake expression and gathered his things before running back up to his room. And now, it was just quietness that surrounded them, and only the echoing of rustling leaves and chirping of birds sounded outside of their home. Huh, their home. Anna felt as if she had just slept in a stranger's home right now.

"I was…" Elsa started. "It's been… well, almost a year since then, right?"

"May 14th. How could I forget?" Anna got up slowly, unable to control the bitterness that shown in her eyes. "How could I… ever begin to understand what happened?"

"You need to, Anna." Her pitying eyes were just unneeded, first of all. "You need to… understand that our marriage… our happiness was not how it was. It all changed… we were nothing but two strangers leading different lives under the same roof, Anna."

Anna turned away. "No, I loved you. I still do - "

"You're blind, Anna."  _Blind?_

The redhead squinted in curiosity. "Blind? I… We… We had a good marriage for seven years, Elsa. How could I be so blind to marry such… wonderful, beautiful woman?"

"'Good', you say…" Elsa nodded, whispering. "I don't know, Anna. I don't know…"

Before Anna could even retort, knowing that she had gotten quite angry right now, the front door slowly opened. "Elsa, I'm home!"

They both turned almost simultaneously to see a tall man with a suitcase and a duffle bag. Anna froze. She… hadn't seen him ever since the two had been introduced to each other a few months ago. She remembered that time, she didn't quite care. Oh, but Anna was good at hiding her emotions. She learned that from a special someone. That person was quite lovely.

"Hans?" Elsa exclaimed. "You're home…"

With a big, bright smile, he left his baggage on the ground and came up to Elsa. "I told you, didn't I? Coming home today afternoon." He leaned into kiss her… which she received with no problem. Anna clenched her fists together, turning away. She used to kiss Elsa like that… used to hold her around her waist like that…

Elsa was giggling. "Silly me, how could I forget?"

"Oh, not so smart anymore, huh? How's Olaf?"

"He's upstairs. I'm sure he'd love to see you."

"I got him toys." Elsa frowned, prompting him to roll his eyes. "Yes,  _again._  But for good reasons!" He put his hands around her waist, before turning to Anna. "Anna! I heard you drank a lot yesterday. You alright?"

Anna nearly wanted to throw up. She grimaced instead, forcing a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Welcome back, Hans. I guess I should go right now."

"No, Anna,  _stay,_ " Elsa pressed. What the hell was she doing? Anna didn't want to stay to… see  _that._  It disgusted her.

"Yeah, Anna. At least, stay for dinner? I haven't seen you in awhile, I wanted to see how you're doing," her…  _boyfriend_  added. Oh, it just rolled off her tongue so harshly. Anna just wished she could just punch him in the face but… she had to show face for Elsa.

She sighed. "No, I… I gotta go. I'll grab a cab, don't worry." She gazed at the blonde, and nothing felt more heartbroken when she couldn't even see Elsa as her own… but to see two individuals holding each other, and one of them wasn't herself. "I'll see you and Olaf tomorrow."

_Blind, huh? Maybe..._


	3. Chapter 3

_Elsa always thought she was wonderful - a bold, bright woman with beautiful auburn hair with nothing to lose. And she didn't have anything to lose. There wasn't a single thing that was stopping Elsa from pursuing her. How could she ever sway away from even looking at her anyway? Alone, she met her at a club one night, and they were able to kick it off wonderfully._

_Truth be told, that girl was quite loud, but that was what Elsa liked about her. She had never met a woman with such a loud personality. And she knew if she was quiet… it would be just as wonderful._

_Elsa was quite enjoying herself, actually. So was the redhead. They had talked, drank, and touched each other like there was no tomorrow. Everything just felt so right. "What's your name?" she asked when they decided to get to Elsa's apartment. It was the spur of the moment._

" _Anna."_

_Ah, Anna. What a nice name. Elsa was willing to call her that forever._

_And that night, Elsa felt nothing but love. Nothing but her skin burning on Elsa's. To feel her fingers digging into her in the night, to have their voices aching for the pleasure that they were to each other. Elsa felt like she was melting - completely submitting herself to Anna's hands and wonderful lips that whispered sweet soft words to her ears._

_After the night of love, to feel arms holding her, Elsa felt whole. Elsa felt loved._

_For months, their friendship had grown to lovers when Anna confessed. Saying three words was as easy as pie for Elsa, and she would say that every day to her wonderful Anna._

_They loved each other, of course. Oh, Elsa really did love her._

* * *

She wasn't sure what had gotten into herself that day. Elsa watched as Anna continued to play with Olaf in a sounding happiness. They were at home that weekend, and it was just a time for family and relaxation. This was nearly impossible for Elsa. While Anna was playing with their son, Elsa was just leaning against the kitchen counter with her arms held together around her waist. Just  _wondering._  She was supposed to happy. Why wasn't she?

Nothing was wrong… but that was exactly what was wrong.

Anna was treating her right, and Olaf loved both of his parents, but -

This was different. Very different.

When was the last they ever had a real argument that would last for days? When was the last time they had both said 'no' to each other? Elsa couldn't remember.

Her smile disappeared from that thought. Having no arguments was nice.  _This_  wasn't.

Elsa felt empty. She must have been crazy to yearn to have a fight with Anna.

And perhaps, why would she? Anna had given her everything, what more could Elsa ask for?

"Hey, come here, will you?" Anna smiled from the couch. The four-year-old Olaf was still trying to his best to climb on top of his mother.

The blonde slowly proceeded to go over to sit next to Anna. "Hi." She looked into Anna's eyes.

"Well, hi, there." She leaned in to kiss Elsa. "What's wrong? Why were you just standing there watching us?"

Elsa shrugged, glancing at the arms that were wrapped around her shoulders. "Nothing's wrong."

"That's good."

"You're just… too good to me."

Anna tilted her head, chuckling. "What's making you think that all of the sudden?"

The woman placed her arm around her wife's waist, leaning her head against Anna's shoulder. "No reason…" she whispered. There was definitely a reason. But she wasn't going to start anything just yet. She was going to be smart about. She was going to be numb about this. For now, at least. "I just think we're just a really, really happy family, aren't we?"

Anna raised an eyebrow. "Yeah... we are. Elsa, what's wrong?"

For now, she couldn't face Anna. "Like I said, nothing." And that was what she was going to believe for another few months.

* * *

Anna would always say yes to her. She would always forgive Elsa without a thought no matter what Elsa had done wrong. Anna would give her everything, anything. But this was wrong.

Sometimes, Elsa would purposely do something wrong, anything major, anything minor. Anna would still forgive her without hesitation. She couldn't stand it. If this was normal for Anna… if she couldn't see how horrible this was, Anna was blind.

Elsa was beginning to feel the disappointment she had emerging. Taking over the love that she had for Anna for all these years. She was… unhappy. This was insanity.

Her wife could never simply understand how Elsa felt.

That summer night, Elsa came home late. It was already 2AM in the morning, and she had not answered any of Anna's dozen calls or texts. Nothing. Because that night… she had spent it in someone else's home. In someone else's bed. She needed to.

Who could she ever turn to? Her marriage -  _their_  marriage had been lost. She hadn't even thought about Olaf - hadn't even thought about Anna. All she wanted was to feel her own happiness again.

When was the last time she had ever felt true pleasure with Anna? When was the last time she had been taken into Anna's hand and be fucked thoroughly that love wouldn't even cross her mind?

Anna was sitting on the couch with only a lamp turned on. And when Elsa had entered the living room, they only stared at each other. No, Elsa only stared at her. The redhead was smiling. "Welcome home."

No screaming. What a surprise. She forced the same expression. "You're not sleeping."

"I put Olaf in bed. I was also just… waiting for you to come home. You never answered my calls."

The woman sighed, running her fingers through her hair. She put her purse down on the counter and took her heels off. "Sorry."

Anna tilted her head. "You… Is that alcohol, I smell? Were you drinking?"

"I was, actually."

"Oh. Well, you drank… a lot. A bath is waiting for you, and I'll be in bed if you need -"  _She just… doesn't get it._

"Thanks, Anna." A pause. She just wanted to go to sleep… just wanted to be away. "Anything else… you want to say?"

Anna placed her hands together, gazing down. "Um… well, I don't know how to say this but… you've changed, Elsa."

The woman looked away. "I guess, I did…" She clenched her fingers together. "I can't help it."

Anna seemed a bit unconvinced. "Yeah, no, that's fine. I just thought, you know, it's different. But I know people can change over time. I don't blame you -"

"Anna, I slept with a man."

Silence. For some reason, saying those words were absolutely relieving. She didn't want to sound like a bitch, but she had to when she needed to. And right now… to let herself go from this exhausting marriage, Elsa said it. Elsa had to break her heart for her own selfish needs.

The redhead cleared her throat, panic eyes searching anywhere but Elsa's. She put her fingers in her hair. "U-Uh… y-you slept with a man? What are you saying?" Oh, Anna definitely understood.

"Aren't you angry?"

Anna still looked at her with confused eyes, but behind all that, Elsa couldn't see the anger. Only the sadness. This wasn't what Elsa wanted.

"Heh… why?"

 _Why_? This was the first thing Anna would ask her? Elsa growled under her breath. "You don't understand, do you?"

Anna immediately shook her head, her body visibly shaking in front of her. "Understand...? Understand what? What have I done?"

"You've done  _nothing_." A pause. And that was exactly what happened. Nothing ever happened. No joy, no sadness… just stillness. "I think… it's over."

"Over." She nervously chuckled. "What, over? Us? Why? What about Olaf?"

"He will be with me." Elsa sighed. "I wasn't happy, Anna. I wasn't -"

"I… I thought all these years, you were. I thought  _we_ were. Was it all just a game?"

"No, Anna. I love you… but I can't stand this anymore. I need…" Elsa took a deep breath. "I just need  _more_."

Silence. And all Elsa could hear was the fragile glass of Anna's heartbreaking. No fire was raging, nothing. Just… darkness and stillness.

"More…? I could give you more -"

"Just…  _stop."_

Anna held her tears in. "Yeah… Um… that's okay. I, um… if it's because of what I've done… and you were drinking too…" Her voice was just completely cracking as she tried to hold it together. Anna was in complete avoidance. "That's-"

"We should divorce."

And that was it. That was all she needed to say - those three simple words. It just rolled out of her tongue so easily. So fast. There was no emotion shown on her face - just… emptiness. Perhaps, she was drunk, but she knew what she said was as light as day, and Anna could hear that very clearly.

All she could see was the horror and heartbreak in Anna's eyes. The way her body slacked in defeat… how she just accepted what Elsa had said. This angered her. For the very last time, Anna wasn't up for an argument. Wasn't up to take Elsa on. Wasn't up to go slap her in the face and tell her no. Because at least, Elsa knew Anna had grown a spine. But Anna stayed silent, in tears.

She was so… weak. So naive.

And Elsa was just completely selfish, but selfishness was all she could be right now.


	4. Chapter 4

All Anna wanted was for things to be normal, but that, perhaps, wasn't worth wanting anymore. Hans wasn't a bad person - not at all.

She just wished that Elsa would tell her more about him before suddenly announcing that Hans had become her significant other. Anna grimaced. She couldn't even say love.

She was on her way to pick Olaf up from school. Luckily, the little guy was in an afterschool program so Anna could take a few minutes rest - maybe grab a cup of coffee or some cupcakes for Olaf and her to chow on - before getting back in her car to take him home. For the hundredth time, Anna… was still quite nervous, bringing him home.

Elsa was unpredictable - had been for the longest time now. Not from personality wise, no… but something about Elsa's thinking… the way she was feeling was especially odd.

Anna shook her head. She was still driving down the long road that evening to pick Olaf up. The thought of Elsa… the thought of that night made Anna's stomach churn. She couldn't even think about the way Hans held her yesterday. Jealousy? Maybe. But most obviously, she was angry and confused.

She had… never been this angry in her life, actually. Anna had always been kind-hearted, which could get annoying sometimes, but it was all she had to herself.

Sighing, she pulled over in front of the school and walked up to the classroom. The hallways were darker than every other day, but it seemed like the classrooms were still as lively as ever. Anna couldn't help but smile. At least, I can be a mom, when I'm here…

Walking around slowly, she had encountered a few of Olaf's classmates and parents. She couldn't help but say goodbye to those cute faces or stop to ask how their parents were doing. Not that she cared (anymore), but… it was just the right thing to ask. Of course, others would ask her the same.

She looked into Olaf's classroom, scanning the kids that were playing legos or trains. Olaf's black hair popped up behind those colorful tables. He was still enjoying his little games with his group of friends, boys and girls. He had always gotten along with students in the classroom, but every day, Anna was still somehow worried about other kids bullying him.

They quickly made eye contact. "Mama!" He waved.

Blinking away from her thoughts, Anna waved as well. "Hey, buddy."

Olaf quickly ran to his mother and hugged her, prompting Anna to let out a little 'oof'. "Wow, you've gotten strong."

"Hehe… Are we going now?"

"Mm…" She looked around, finding the teacher from the far back, gazing at her. "Yeah, why don't you grab your things? I'll go sign out, alright?"

"Okay!"

Anna walked towards the teacher with brunette hair.

"Well, you look a bit exhausted, don't you? Hey, kids, quiet down!" The brunette with a colorful apron crossed her arms, getting up from her seat.

The redhead nervously chuckled, scratching her head. "Well, yeah, that's what you get when you've been working overtime."

"Huh, lucky you." She handed Anna a clipboard and pen. "So… I know I shouldn't talk about this… but are you and Elsa getting any better? Olaf… well…"

Anna cocked an eyebrow at her before handing back the signed clipboard. "What  _about_  Olaf?"

"You two didn't tell him about the -"

"No, not really. Is he questioning?"

She shrugged. "Today he asked me, 'why are Mama and Mom living apart?' and 'is Mama going to come back home?'. That sort of thing."

Anna let out an exasperated sigh, dropping her head down. Ah, of course, Olaf would ask this. He was going to be in second grade soon - eventually, they'd have to say something. Heartbroken? Yes. But was it the truth? Of course. And perhaps, Anna just wanted Olaf to still be this innocent, fun little man, still. The guilt of telling Olaf was riding up on her. "Sorry, he has to put you up with that."

"Mama, I'm ready!"

Anna gazed down, seeing that Olaf was jumping up and down in excitement. "Alright, we'll go a second okay?"

"Yep! Can I play with my friends for a bit then?"

"Of course." She ran her fingers through his hair. "But just for a bit, and then, we'll go." Seeing that Olaf still wanted to go play… to enjoy himself… somehow, just looking at it was heartbreaking. Anna clicked her tongue.

"Listen." Anna felt a hand on her shoulder. "It's not good to put off telling him later. I know you seem to be having a bit of a hard time but… I know you and Elsa will be just fine. I can feel it."

 _What does she know_? Anna felt herself slouch in disappointment and frustration for a second. She knew the teacher - er, Meg was trying to help, but honestly, it wasn't going to help fix their marriage. Not with that advice or her feelings.

She smiled clumsily at her. "Thanks, that's… that means a lot."

Meg rolled her eyes, a hand placed on her hip. "No, I'm just… telling you how I feel, that's all."

"Even so, I appreciate it. Thanks, Meg. Olaf, come on, let's take you home."

The kid pouted for a second before saying bye to his friends. Oh, he could never say 'no' to his mother anyway. Watching him grab his backpack and have his hand on hers, Anna felt… well, she felt warm.  _At least, I have him around… sometimes._

"Anyway, thanks for taking care of Olaf for us. I know it's hard to keep a secret from him."

Meg chuckled, waving her off. "No, not hard at all. If you need anything, I'm all ears. Oh, forgot to say, in a month, there'll be a Thanksgiving play going on and our class will be performing. Will you come?"

Anna rolled her eyes, feeling Olaf tugging her to go. "Of course I'll come." A pause. But then again… Olaf would want to see both parents. Anna didn't have the heart to face Elsa again. "Um… both of us will come."

Meg silently nodded. "Right, well, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

* * *

As usual, Elsa was standing outside of the house. Anna always thought that was weird, considering Elsa knew that Anna would never keep her baby forever. Anna wasn't that person. She'd listen to that woman just to keep them together. To keep them sane.

Anna stepped on the brake, turning back. "Alright now - and, shhh," she put a finger to her lips, "remember don't tell Mom that you were having cupcakes before dinner." She winked.

Olaf giggled. Ah, he was always a good kid and not do these things, but whenever he was asked to… the excitement he had was adorable.

Once they got out to the car, Olaf ran into her mother's arms. "Mom!"

"Ooh, you and Mama came home a bit late. I was worried, baby." Elsa squeezed the kid and kissed his forehead.

Anna just had to be on the side to watch. Elsa had always been the fondest of their son… she didn't want to stop their sweet moments together. No matter how strict Elsa could be, there was always a soft side she'd let out once in awhile.

"Sorry, I was just talking to Meg, that's all," Anna stated.

The blonde looked up, smiling. "Meg? Are you two close?"

What? Anna felt a blush emerging. "N-no, of course not! We just… talk, that's all."

She nodded, running her fingers through Olaf's soft hair. For a second, Elsa squinted. "Olaf, did you eat something before coming home?"

Oh. Anna let out a sigh of disappointment, watching Olaf freeze up. He gazed down, hands placed together. "Y-Yeah…" he mumbled.

"What did you eat?"

"Er…" He turned to Anna. Oh well, not like it matters.

Anna chuckled nervously. "I went ahead and bought a few mini cupcakes before coming to pick Olaf up. I thought I'd share some with him - he only ate two though."

Olaf immediately puffed up his chest in confidence. "Y-Yeah, two!"

Elsa cocked her eyebrow. "Doesn't seem like it." A pause. "Well, that's fine, as long as you finish your dinner, got it?"

He nodded frantically.

"Alright, go inside. Do your homework."

"Bye Mama!" He waved, prompting Anna to as well.

"Bye…" Ah. It was just them two again. The awkwardness was coming back and still… Anna continued to wonder what had gone wrong in their marriage. She crossed her arms, cleared her throat, and avoided eyes with Elsa. The blonde was only tilting her head in curiosity, grinning gently, her side leaning against the side door. "You don't have to look so tense, Anna. It's just us."

Us. Anna bit her lip. "U-Um… oh, I just wanna say… thanks. For yesterday. I… didn't want you to see me being in such a messy state."

Elsa shook her head. "No, it's my job to take care of you, and you, me. Right?"

"Yeah, but -"

"Our divorce doesn't have to hinder our relationship with each other -"

 _"Your_. You divorced me, Elsa." Anna sighed. She didn't want to get angry. She wasn't going to be that person. "I… I'm happy to see you more… happier, at least. If it means that we can't be together."

Elsa sighed. "How are you doing? Are you feeling any better?"

 _What is this?_  "I feel the same as always."

Elsa twitched. "This is why…" she whispered, but Anna was so… clouded with frustration and the words that were kept in her mind that she didn't hear. Didn't want to hear anyway. Anna shouldered too much of their responsibilities to even care with Elsa had said.

"Anyway, I should… I should go. Say goodnight to Olaf for me. And… sorry about the cupcakes -"

"Do you want to come in for dinner?"

Anna shook her head. "I'm fine."

"Hans isn't here."

"Doesn't matter." A pause. "I don't belong here."

"Anna -"

"Look, next month, Olaf is going to be on a play for Thanksgiving and Meg wants us to be there. Together."

Before she could even let Elsa respond, Anna had already gotten into her car and drove off. She had never been so cold to ignore what Elsa was saying, but to keep herself sane… all she could do was shield herself from Elsa's hurtful words. She knew Elsa never meant to hurt her… never meant to treat her like trash.

She clenched her fingers around the steering wheel tightly, her others going through her hair. Never had she been this heartbroken before. Never.

_This fucking sucks._


	5. Broken

Going to work was just another excuse for Anna so that she wouldn't have to think about anything else other than work. Honestly, she despised it there - but if it helped her to forget about Elsa, it was good for her.

Weselton wasn't the greatest boss, and if Anna could rate him, he would be a three - one of those points only being his wig because it always made her laugh. Used to anyway. She hadn't had a real laugh for quite a long time now.

Anna didn't quite have that much work that afternoon anyway. People were getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner, and even Kristoff had gone home early.

She scratched her head, reading through the texts she received from Meg in her cubicle.

_Meg: You are coming right?_

_Me: Yeah, sure._

_Meg: What do you mean, 'yeah, sure'? Look, Olaf's excited to see you. So am I._

_Me: I'll be there, don't worry. What time again?_

_Meg: Get here before 2, okay? Mind telling Elsa that too? You said she'd come.  
Me: She will. Don't worry about it, I'll talk to you later._

_Meg; Don't be late!_

Anna groaned, throwing her head back. It wasn't the first time Meg had forced the two of them to be together. It was just… Anna felt awkward. It had already been a month since Anna had woken up in Elsa's home all hungover and tired. She couldn't forget about it.

And the way she acted…  _still_  acted… Gods, Anna felt herself dying a little bit inside. This wasn't her at all - to say something so coldly to Elsa and ignore her. This happened more than once too.

Anna put her fingers in her hair. "What's gotten into the both of us…?" she questioned to herself.  
Anna glared at her phone… only to see Elsa's caller ID appearing on the screen. She tensed up. She didn't know why she was so tensed up. Elsa always called her, asked how she was doing… but today, Anna was especially nervous.

Gulping down the fear of rejection, she picked up the phone. "H-Hello?"

" _Anna?"_

It was so nice to hear her voice… what wasn't nice was how Elsa was acting.  _Is 'normal' what this is to Elsa now? What a joke._ Anna sighed. "Hey, what's up?"

" _Anna, what is wrong?"_

The redhead could almost feel her frown from the other end. "No, nothing's wrong." She had to change this subject. "You… you're coming, right? To school."

" _Of course."_

"Hans too?"

" _No, not Hans."_  At least, that gave Anna a bit of relief. Even she knew Elsa knew that she would feel uncomfortable with him around. But Anna had always said that it was okay to be… well, intimate in front of Anna. Apparently… Anna never did feel okay, even if she said she was.

Anna didn't say anything for a second in contemplation. "Um… you know it's okay to bring him right? It's not my right to oppose."

"And it's not my right to make you feel uncomfortable, Anna."

Oh, for fuck's sake. Anna wanted to laugh, but she didn't. She had enough respect for Elsa to respect their own boundaries. "Yeah… don't worry, it's fine. And… I know I've been kind of… weird lately, but it's only because I've been thinking a lot. I don't mean to ignore you if I ever did."

" _Anna…"_

She cleared her throat. "S-So what's up? You wanted to tell me something."

Elsa didn't say anything for a while before Anna heard a sigh from the other end. "I wanted to ask if you want some of the chocolate chips cookies I made yesterday. It's not soft."

Ah… Elsa still remembered her favorite kinds of cookies. It hadn't been too long after their divorce but after everything, Anna could only expect how little Elsa would think about her. This didn't seem to be the case anymore. Anna pursed her lips together. She missed Elsa's cooking… it always reminded her of her grandmother's. Always… reminded her of the love they had - the love that Elsa put in her food.

Anna took in a deep shaky breath. "Um… yeah, I'd like some. You'll bring it to school right?"

" _Of course. You seem… down lately, I thought I could -"_

"Look, we should be happy." Anna smiled. "Olaf's doing a play in a bit so… what we just need to do is be there with him. Even if it comes to pretending that you love me." She took a deep breath. "Alright, I'll see you soon."

" _Anna -"_

The woman immediately hung up. Ah, everything that she wanted to say today… oh, it just felt so good to get it off her chest.

But even so… how could Elsa say something like this? 'Feeling down'?  _I feel like I'm dying._ And perhaps, Elsa never did consider her as a… well, a friend anymore. Just two strangers that once had a kid that bonded them together.

While Anna wanted to mope around and cry, she didn't have the time or the energy to. She had had enough of all that during  _that_  day.

Having enough courage to pick herself up, she got out of work and into her own car. It was Thanksgiving, anyway, she shouldn't be acting like this. Though… celebrating Thanksgiving was the last thing she ever wanted to do with her… family.

* * *

She arrived in the decent sized auditorium, crowded with hundreds of parents and kids from all ages. The walls were filled with decorations made by kids, colors ranging from every autumn shades. The stage was empty, the background being a farm with small little props painted and structured nicely.

Anna smiled, eyes scanning the sea of people.  _It's a good day…_

"Hey, you're here!"

Anna turned around to see Meg in her usual apron walking towards her. "Oh, Meg. I'm not late, am I?"

She shook her head, grabbing Anna's hand. The redhead raised her eyebrow and gazed down at their entangled fingers. "No, you're just in time. I snagged you a seat with Elsa so you guys will be sitting in the front."

Anna chuckled nervously, looking back up. "Er, special privilege, I see."

"Oh,  _please_ , we've known each other for two years now, you should be thankful."

Anna rolled her eyes. "I don't know about that."

"Whatever, Elsa's already here so just go to the right and you'll see a beautiful blonde waiting for her princess."

Anna turned, eyes scanning to the direction that Meg had pointed to. Elsa was just sitting in the front, like she said, talking and laughing with a woman next to her.  _Wow…_ for the first time in a long time, Anna was able to see Elsa's sweet, sweet laughter. She forgot how beautiful and addicting it was to look at.

She blinked. "Hey, what do you mean 'her prin-'"

"Whoops, gotta go! The show is going to start in a few minutes. Go grab your seat!"

"W-What about Olaf?!"

"He's with the class!" Before Anna could even say another sentence, Meg was already running back up to the stage.

Anna let out a huff. "'Princess', are you kidding me…?" Well, Anna could easily brush it off. Meg's jokes were always a little surprising sometimes, but for her to say 'princess' like Elsa still loved her… The woman turned and walked to said person. Still, while Anna had talked to Elsa on the phone, talking in person… well, it was a different story. Almost like Anna was having her first meeting with Elsa.

"Hey." Anna tapped her shoulder, prompting the two women to look up. She waved. "Sorry, I'm late."

Elsa immediately got up. "No, you're early. Olaf's class is still backstage."

"I know, I saw Meg earlier." Anna nodded, looking over the tall woman's shoulder to see a stranger waving behind her. "Hi, sorry for disturbing your conversations."

The woman shook her head. "No, no! We were just talking about how our kids used to be in the same class. Mine transferred to Miss Lee."

"Ah…" Anna nodded.

Elsa smiled and reached for Anna's hand. "Sorry, let me introduce her to you. This is Anna. Anna, meet Tiana. A wonderful baker with a beautiful bakery."

"Oh, stop." Tiana chuckled. "Look at you, being all humble. I can see you have a wonderful wife too."

Anna's hair on the back of her neck stood up, and everything in her body seemed to have gone to shock.

"Wait, we're not -"

"She and I aren't -"

Oh. The two women turned to each other, prompting Tiana's eyes to go wide.

"Oh… Oh, but I thought… I'm sorry," Tiana giggled nervously, "It's just Anna's wearing a ring and you're holding her hand so I assumed…"

Immediately, Elsa let Anna's hand go.  _Without a thought_. Huh. It was so like her. And slowly, Anna's face fell, turning away and having her own arms hold her own body. Why did she continue to wear that ring? What the hell was she hoping for?  _I should've sold it a long time ago._ But these… tugging thoughts just kept coming and it was just there to stay.

She heard Elsa take a deep breath. "People assume that a lot. But we're not together." A pause. "We are close though."  _Close_.

"Ah…" This was a bit awkward. "Well, closeness is good too."

"Yeah, it is…" Anna replied. "Are you married too?"

"Oh, yes. To this dork of a man. Sad he's not here to see the play, I bet he'll be extremely jealous once my daughter and I brag about it to him."

Elsa giggled. "You must have a wonderful family." Before anything else was being said, a loud cough coming from the microphone on the stage sounded, and the lights were dimming. The women turned, seeing the school's principal readying himself to make a speech.

"Thank you all, parents, grandparents, and siblings for coming to our Thanksgiving special today. Welcome! Don't worry, the first-grade classes are finishing up getting ready, so in a second, you'll be able to see how wonderful your children are. Of course, nobody will be left out…"

Anna felt a tug on her sleeve, turning to see Elsa sitting. "Sit," she whispered, and the redhead slowly followed suit. "I told you, I baked you cookies." The blonde reached down for a white tote bag with a container of various cookies and brownies inside. Oh, just looking at it as she pulled it out had Anna almost drooling.

"Jesus, you baked that much?" Anna furrowed her brows.

Elsa smirked. "Well, it's not you can't finish it, right?" She was right.

"You know I can't ever resist your desserts, especially, anything that's chocolate related."

"That's why I baked extra. The rest are for the bake sale." Anna was just about to reach for one until Elsa put it back in the bag. She gently slapped Anna's hand away. "No, no, no,  _after_  Olaf's finished, then you'll get some."

The woman groaned and rolled her eyes. "You make it so hard for me sometimes."

It was quiet again. And Anna… well, she didn't know she had said anything wrong for a moment until she realized. But then again… Anna wasn't wrong. The play had started with parents clapping their hands, screaming their children's name as loudly as they could, but Anna paid little to no attention to that.

Elsa was still smiling, softly clapping her hands… perhaps, well ignoring what Anna had said. She stared and stared and stared… but those words just couldn't break Elsa at all.  _What is she?_

"Elsa -"

"Look! It's Olaf." The blonde grabbed her arm, prompting Anna to turn to see a little man with blond hair on stage… dressed as a snowman.  _Oh my god…_

Anna couldn't contain the smile on her face. She had never seen her baby look this happy being a snowman - on stage, even. And to see him in such a cute costume… Anna felt as if she was going to faint in happiness.

And right now, seeing Olaf's eyes searching around for his parents had given Anna a reason to not talk about anything else and just focus on her son.

Olaf waved slightly and discreetly, knowing the play had already started. Both parents squealed with silence and happiness, giving him the biggest wave ever… only for them to gaze at each other afterward… and only blush and awkwardness ensued them. Anna didn't know what to say - after all, Olaf was the only kid who bonded them together.

For a while, every single adult in the auditorium quietly watched the play. Olaf had a fair amount of stage time so it gave the two parents the time of their life to be his biggest fans in the audience. Honestly, Anna found the play quite cute… especially her child, obviously.

About half an hour into the play, it was finally at the closing scene.

Anna felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see Elsa handing her a cookie - though, she did take a bite. "I thought you haven't had lunch. One for now, alright? Then, after, we'll go eat with Olaf. A good Thanksgiving dinner."

"We're not eating at home?"

"Not tonight, that is."

The redhead raised an eyebrow and took a bite out of Elsa's bite.  _Hm, tasty… as always._ "Mm… I can wait. Save it for later, it's dessert." She grinned widely, patting her stomach. "Also, that is really,  _really_ good. You never change."

Elsa only rolled her eyes. "Oh,  _you_  never change."

"Not for those cookies, I won't." A pause. "Other aspects… maybe."

"Anna, don't do this now -"

"Then  _when?"_ Anna breathed. "When are we going to talk about it? When are you going to tell me what has gotten into our marriage… that forced you to leave? That… forced me out of my happiness and joy?"

Elsa shut her eyes. The play was ending soon, and the next class would be performing. That, Anna didn't have to see. "Anna…"

"It's been almost a  _year_  since we filed for divorce, yet… you've given me nothing but… but that  _you just don't love me._ " Anna's face fell to her palms, tears that she held back were finally falling. But she had to be strong. Olaf was watching them. She didn't want her baby to get hurt either - and if she could take all the hit from Elsa… she was willing to do that.

She felt a hand on her back, and immediately, she got up from her seat. "I'm going to the bathroom. We'll talk later." Anna didn't want to show her vulnerable expression, leaving as quickly as her feet could take her. Ah, cold… cold was all she could be.

And after the play ended, Olaf went back to his classroom to put everything away and get dressed. In the school's basketball court, backyard… Elsa was leaning against the wall, eyes down, arms crossed together, and Anna… oh, Anna was just staring. Crying. She was enraged. Never had she gotten so angry to the point that she was crying. Never had ever gotten  _angry_.

But the cars that zoomed pass them muted those cries. Those… dreadful tears. Though, Anna's eyes stayed firm. "So…" Anna took a deep breath, wiping her tears in the back of her hand. "I-I… I did everything that you've told me to do… I've agreed to everything… I…"

"Anna, you did. And you know what? Perhaps, I'm selfish… but every time you give me that look… that pitiful eyes like right now?"

"Pitiful eyes…?" Anna squinted. "You call me loving you  _pitiful?_ "

Elsa furrowed her eyebrows in disappointment. "Every time you look at me, I feel like… I've just lost a little bit of myself. I feel…" She chuckled. "God, you don't understand."

"Then help me!" she yelled. She couldn't stand it anymore. "HELP ME UNDERSTAND! Just… what did I do wrong for  _us_  to go wrong?"

"I told you, it's not you -"

 _Slap._ "Fuck.  _You_."

The sound… oh, the sound of Anna's hand going across her cheek, everyone must've heard it because Anna's ears just rang. It was so loud… so painful. And Elsa just accepted it with nothing but… those… fucking irritating blank eyes. Like she didn't care. Like she regarded Anna like she was  _nothing._

"I gave you  _everything_." Anna tried her very best to suppress her cries, her voice completely stuck in her throat. "I sacrificed everything… for  _you_. For you to just  _fucking leave!_ "

Elsa growled, between her teeth. "This is exactly why." She took a deep breath, and Anna's only response was the widening of her own eyes… to see the hurt in Elsa's expression and her watery eyes. "You sacrificed everything…  _everything…_  and what is there left? I feel… I feel lost. Everything that we do… that we say, I feel completely indifferent. Is this what you want to hear? Because I feel  _nothing_ , Anna… I feel so…" She ran her fingers through her blonde hair, tears finally flowing down. "Our marriage… our relationship… it all felt so fake. But I didn't want to hurt you - I didn't know  _how_  to."

Anna shook her head, her mind telling her no, no, no. That this couldn't be happening. That Elsa… didn't want… what, happiness? Peace?

"So that's what you meant when you say you lost your love for me…" Anna looked away, chuckling through her tears. This was completely unbelievable.

"Don't you understand…?" Elsa's voice was so weak. " _How_ could I ever tell you to stop giving me everything? How could I… ever  _fucking_  tell you how depressing our marriage was? Nothing - for God's sake, NOTHING ever happens! You did everything! And everything was just…  _there._ I was sick of it all _._ "

"Then why…? Why tell me now? Why couldn't we just talk -"

" _Why_  should I ruin someone else's happiness just because I wasn't? I love our son, Anna… how could I ever tell him that her mom is being selfish?" Elsa came close to her, pointing at her own chest. " _How?"_ she emphasized through a whisper. " _Tell me,_ Anna!"

"Mom?"

The two gazed down at the small voice… to see frightened big eyes gazing at the two of them… and behind them, Meg was standing there. And Meg… she stood there in silence. In shock… and Anna knew, with the two of them like this, they weren't fit to be his parents. Because that face… they had never seen such horrified face before.

"Girls, Olaf wanted to see you." Anna could barely hear Meg's voice.

"Olaf…" Anna whispered.

The boy turned to her. "M-Mama? Why are you two yelling?"

"Olaf -"

"Oh dear…" Elsa sniffled, quickly wiping her tears before getting down to pick Olaf up in her arms. "It's nothing, baby. Mama and I… we were just talking about how good your performance was." She smiled. Well, to the best of her abilities anyway. "We're very proud of you."

Olaf pouted, his small fingers reaching for Elsa's cheek. "Your cheek is red… did you get hit?"

Meg's eyes widened, eyebrows furrowed. She glared at the redhead. No, Anna just couldn't face her. Nobody. She felt… horrible. And she just didn't understand how Elsa could hide her feelings so easily.

Elsa grasped his small hand and kissed the palm. "Mm, it's nothing, baby. Did you enjoy your performance?"

"Mhm…" His voice was still unsettling. "Did you see me jump down from the tree before?"

"It was beautiful, baby. Do you want to eat? We can go anywhere you like."

"Okay!" Ah, he would give anything for food. "Um… I want pasta and turkey? … but is Mama coming?"

The redhead blinked, turning to her child. "Yeah, Mama's coming. I can't let your mother celebrate your little victory alone today, right?" She ruffled his hair.

"Y-Yeah, heh…" He fiddled with his fingers, and slowly his face fell again. "U-Um… am I a bad boy? Did I do something wrong?"

Elsa widened her eyes. "No, no, you've been a very good boy. Mama and I… we're fine okay?"

Olaf turned to his Mama. "F-Fine?"

Anna kissed his head. "Yeah, baby, we're fine."

"Can I go back and grab my bag then?"

"Sure thing, kid."

Right now, Anna felt defeated. Elsa had told her the truth… had told her how she felt all this time, yet… watching her speak to their son so normally, so happily, made Anna feel like she didn't belong. She couldn't stand it. She felt sick in the stomach. And when Olaf left with worried eyes of Meg's staring at them one last time, the silence was all that was left of the two. Silence was all they needed. Because nothing felt worse than to have words attacking each other again.  
"What… the hell… am I supposed to do?" Anna began.

"Anna…" The redhead flinched when she felt fingers caressing her cheek. Anna gazed up at the blonde's blue eyes. Ah, she had completely forgotten the beauty of it. "It's different now, don't you see…?"

Anna shook her head, her own fingers grasping on Elsa's wrist loosely. " _No_. Remember when we were young… when we were… immature, needy adults? When we tried so hard to get into each other's pants? What the fuck happened to that?" Immediately, she pushed the woman against the wall, her own arms trapping Elsa between her.

The blonde barely flinched… barely even reacted. Did she want this? Anna's eyes wandered around her mysterious expression, her own body closing up on Elsa's. Ah… she remembered this warmth so clearly. So wonderfully.

"Remember all the things we used to do? How we… matured as we grew… how happy we were when Olaf came along? Is that all gone?" Elsa didn't say anything… her ocean colored eyes glowing like they were diamonds, cold fingers reaching for Anna's chin. And Anna allowed her thumb to caress her skin, her lips… "Did you… ever forget…?" Anna breathed, letting herself come closer to her.

"How can I…?"

Closer…  _closer_ …

She closed her eyes, feeling Elsa's soft lips graze against hers. The slightest touch was a reminder. The slightest warmth was their love. Anna breathed in slowly, taking in every wondrous scent… every single touch. And she indulged herself, closing in to kiss the woman she still loved. To feel that love that, perhaps, was still there. And it was just one kiss.

One… broken  _kiss_.


End file.
